Silent scream!

Ever feel like you could go anywhere in the city and scream and no one would even blink in your direction? Welcome to the way I have felt most of my life. Gratefully I have found myself more "found" since seeking Christ to be in my life daily. Although I still feel unworthy, unloved, unable to cope at times in my days. Staying focused is a lot harder than it sounds. Temptation to do the easy or be less moral is very hard to resist.

We are told to have a voice we must do something outrageous like show skin, release a sex tape, create a scandal, be arrested for something that will make e news. I am certain I do not want to be known for any of the above. I want my foot print to be loving, giving, genuine, "Christ" like. So in order to do this I must do all the hard things forgive even those who hurt me, love unconditionally all who are on earth, pray, meditate, read my bible, volunteer, smile. Let me tell you most days I don't feel like doing any of those things. Isn't it funny to be all God called us to be we must go against what we feel like doing! Shouldn't it be the opposite way, built into us that doing the right thing gives us energy and a can do attitude. Not that it can't do those things just most days it doesn't.

Now doing what's right will give you those warm and fuzzy feelings but at the end of a rough day of work with kids to still deal with, you don't "feel" like making 2 dinners so you can take one to a friend in need. But for the most part we do shed our flesh and do the right thing. Now that was easy cooking for a friend but what if it's keeping four kids for a month. Being responsible for food, health, shelter, emotional and mental welfare of additional kids. Would we as a american generation do that for someone else? I can say without a doubt even not making it financially, yes I would if tI was needed but would you? For decisions like these there are a lot of Na-Sayers that interject...what about your family, what about your welfare, how will you ever manage? Now would you after all the doubt just put out there? Big decisions or little decisions we all face the doubt in our head and the doubt in other people. So I say let's take each decision daily and turn it over to our God Almighty. He knows what the answer is and he will never fill you with doubt.

Jesus will make sure you not only walk the path he has chosen he will walk with you. So who is with me for a challenge? For 24 hours every decision what to eat, should I send this text, are the words coming out of my mouth for you God. Let's consult him on every decision write down each question and how long you listened for the answer before you acted. Or if you forget and lean on your own decision making. Let's see which decisions turn out for the better.

I'll check back in to see how your doing and to update you on how I am doing.

American Momma